Sorry, I'm Going to Be a Little Late

There are things in life that aren’t meant for us, and therefore we can’t envy people's achievements because that particular journey to get there was not for us to experience.

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Everybody’s 4 o’clock comes – unfortunately, I’m always running late.

Or at least, that's how it seems.

I strive for a positive mindset about life, but honestly, I struggle. I’m not pessimistic, not a realist either, just a ‘giver-upper’. When the going gets tough, I get going. I'm not the type to turn lemons into lemonade; instead, I love to sob at my problems while munching on a Bounty chocolate bar – as if my problems weren’t big enough.

I believe that holding our thoughts accountable is as crucial as holding our actions accountable. Though I may not have it all together all the time, those occasional moments of clarity nudge me closer to my potential.

I, like many, love getting what I want. Who doesn't? I often feel entitled to everything I desire and more. The best of the best. But I don't rush; I pursue quality in whatever I desire. I like to know that I have quality in whatever it is I want. Though I’m not sure if that’s me being spoilt, or me overthinking. Surely the better the thing is, the less it will go wrong – right?

Wrong.

As an extensive planner, there's hardly a situation I haven't overanalyzed or meticulously prepared for.

Previously, I’ve written about how fate knows us better than we do and how life unfolds regardless of how much we plan. But, the deeper I get into adulthood, the more annoying optimism gets. Does life actually get better, or do people get luckier?

It often feels like the latter. They say comparison steals joy, and it does. Witnessing others achieve great things compared to your own accomplishments can diminish self-worth. Whether it's in careers, homes, relationships, social lives, or opportunities, it often feels like others receive more than their fair share.

If it’s not watching people do things you wished you were a part of, it's wondering why you, of all people, are going through your less desirable situation.

I count my blessings when I can, and often I forget to be grateful for them. I cherish the things I have in my life deeply, but that feeling doesn't linger every day, and I'm guilty of that. A fault I’ve developed was craving more, longing for better, and getting sucked into the idea that the current moment isn’t enough; longing for the version of me that gets everything she wants, and more.

This longing eventually turned into an addiction to perfect every aspect of my life, waiting for it to become better, more flawless, and more desirable in the eyes of others.

I’m not saying I’m never envious, but it does make you think why others seem to progressing so well and doing so well. We don’t give ourselves enough credit, though, because, in the areas where you show up regardless, others wouldn’t or couldn’t do the things that you make look easy. We undervalue ourselves, yet in areas where we consistently show up, others might struggle.

There are things in life that aren’t meant for us, and therefore we can’t envy people's achievements because that particular journey to get there was not for us to experience.

Sometimes we try to make things work for the sake of ‘having something’. I’ve definitely been there. Trying to make things work because it seemed like the ‘right’ option. I tried so hard to indulge in it, but my heart just wasn’t in it. But then I had things that made absolutely no sense logically, and it just felt right, it just made sense and felt like it was mine.

We often believe that things must make perfect sense before we act, but they don't always. Some of my most significant achievements happened by simply 'doing,' taking risks, and following what felt right. We often hesitate to trust our instincts, but what's yours will come to you.

My biggest mistake thus far in my life is being too hesitant when I thought I was being cautious, and there is absolutely a difference. Being cautious is evaluating the situation for any potential risks and being prepared to handle and rectify those risks. Being hesitant is not deciding at all because the risks are there. After the trials and tribulations I’ve endured, there may not have been much will, but there was a way and I did overcome.

The lack of trust we have in ourselves definitely plays a part in how we navigate life. We don’t trust that we’ll be able to handle the situation and one thing about life, is it will give it to you whether you are ready or not.

Unfortunately, we can’t always have what we want because the person desiring that outcome now might differ from who we become. We change and evolve, and the things we want change too. Sometimes, we restrict ourselves by holding onto dreams that don't align with the person we're evolving into.

I once thought my 4 o'clock wasn't coming, but looking back, events in my life happened at the right time, shaping me into the person I need to be for tomorrow. We feel like we're behind and unfortunate, but unless we challenge ourselves to overcome, we'll remain waiting for the 'right' time.

I aspire to try and fail. It’s embarrassing, but pride will get the best of you if you’re not willing to overcome those awkward phases. I disliked the fact that I would give my all and still wouldn’t reap the rewards, but to be brave and express desire is better than being hesitant and waiting to feel desire on empty action.

You can't be late for something destined for you; it just, ironically, takes time. Time, is an immeasurable quality—how can we dictate the 'right' time? When things feel natural, effortless, and inexplicably right, don't deny yourself opportunities to try for what’s best for you.

Listening to interviews or stories of those we deem as successful individuals, they all share a common trait—none waited for the 'right' time or relied entirely on luck. They took risks, endured the journey, and reaped the rewards.

So, although my 4 o’clock seems delayed, my 3:45 feels pretty good right now.

Whether you feel behind, on time, or just unsure, count your blessings while you can, because you showed up for yourself and overcame what, at one point, you thought was impossible. There's no 'right' time for the 'right' situation, but there is a right action—faith and trust. Your choice of faith and trust is your own, and for me, I know what’s mine.

I've found comfort in the progress made at 3:45, even if it 'feels' like I'm behind. Each moment, each challenge, and every step towards embracing faith and trust shapes the person I am becoming. There's no fixed timeline for our aspirations, no defined moment for success, but rather a journey of resilience, self-discovery, and the courage to act. So, I'll continue to count my blessings, navigate life's uncertainties, and embrace the unfolding journey toward a future I'm yet to meet.

What would happen if we were brave enough to trust and embrace the timing of our lives a little more? I'm not sure, but all I know is, I can't wait but sorry, I'm going to be a little late.