How Fate Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself

Do you believe in fate? The faith in an idea that everything is destined to happen the way it's supposed to? That everything has its place in the vast space and time that surrounds us and the universe?

I've always been a believer of fate - well, ever since I was aware of the concept. It would be hard to explain to a child or someone with a closed mind, how things just happen because they are meant to. Every decision we make in our lives seems to have a reason for justification. But how do you justify fate? How do you justify something that is just meant to occur? That's another conversion beyond what I wanted to talk about today, but yeah, I do believe in fate and that brings me to our wants and needs. I think I've spoken about this before, but lately, I've been faced with a conundrum.

I've always had a mature outlook on life, I knew what I wanted, I knew roughly when I'd want them to happen, I knew that if I got/ achieve what I wanted, that I'd be content. That things would just work out. Workout to what? I guess happiness, perhaps a peaceful soul or a life that I felt was worth living.

Well anyway, I had this thing, it was everything I wanted, yet it came with so many uncertainties. I mean, surely, if I knew what I wanted, it would be easy to accept it right? Nope. I think for the first time I've realized that we can want things but that doesn't certainly mean we need them.

If you think of the things you want as choices and influences and; the things we need as custom care packages. Everyone is faced with choices and influences that could result in good or bad outcomes. A custom care package is filled with things tailored to you and no one else. Still with me? Anyway, let me try and describe this feeling that had me so perplexed:

This feeling was so natural and seemed to fit into my life so perfectly like a missing puzzle piece. Like eating a meal and realizing that you needed a pinch of salt. It was the salt, so wonderfully complimentary, that it seemed too good to be true. I think we're taught from a young age that nothing worthwhile comes easily and I never quite understood that till I was actually faced with a worthwhile decision. Why is it so hard to accept that when good things happen, it must be a miracle? ‘We can't believe it!’ Something must be wrong. I'm not saying we need to let our guards down, but it's almost like we’re conditioned to suffer. We can’t live in the moment because we’re always preparing ourselves for the worst.

I mean, sometimes it's easier to just prepare for the worst because there's nothing more heartbreaking than being on cloud nine and then realizing that the ground beneath you is so far away. Uh oh. What if you lose a split moment of faith and slip through the bliss? That's a long way to fall with nothing to cushion your fall. What would you do? Take a precaution and prepare for your downfall, or remain ignorant and ‘whatever happens...happens’?

I'm the type of person that would look at that cloud nine and watch the cows jump over the moon. Or if I was to get on that cloud nine, I'd bring a parachute just in case. I'd probably try to find a way to calculate the wind speed and direction just in case the weather gets bad. In all this waffle, what I'm trying to say is, sometimes we want to feel safe in experiences that are just meant to be experienced. We don't know the outcome of certain situations, yet we’ll put our mind in the gutter trying to somewhat prove to ourselves that we’re ready for what we want.

Ha.

On more than one occasion I've been handed situations I thought I wanted. Situations I had planned out with backup plans B, C through E (simply because if it required too many backup plans, that was between God and letting it be.) Anyway. This situation was so ideal, it was, if it could be, the textbook version. However, as I began to experience it more, I realized that not that it was too good to be true, but I had been lusting after this moment for so long, that I hadn't really let myself mould into this new normal. It wasn't that I needed to change, but more so adapt.

You see, sometimes, you wonder why you aren't in your most ideal situations and perhaps you're just not ready. I know what you're thinking. How can I not be ready? I'm aware that I want it, I'm aware of how beneficial it will be to me! Yes. Good. But it still doesn't mean you're ready. Sometimes your mind just hasn't unlocked a key way of processing information, yet, that you will need. I didn't quite get that until I was in a situation whereby I had envisioned certain aspects of this thing and experiencing it was extremely uncomfortable. Why? Although I knew this was good, I just hadn't been able to adapt to it. I was placed into a welcomed circumstance that felt too foreign. I was an outsider to the very thing I wanted to be in.

The things we need as individuals. I'm talking down to your fingerprints, the things that not even a professional Oscar award-winning Actor could pull off. You. The things we’ll need in life are complimentary. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle, flavourings, composure and orchestra.

Sometimes the things we need make us uncomfortable, out our comfort zones and make us feel exposed. All of a sudden, our vulnerabilities are drawn like shadows as we continue to seek after the beam of the unknown in the presence of our needs.

Now you all know I'm a believer in God, so I will keep referencing to Him throughout my works. If you keep asking God for something He knows you have no business being involved in, He will show you exactly why in due time, and it will humble you. Now if you're not a believer in God, sometimes, you'll want certain things and realize you were better off without it.

I, too, had envisioned what I wanted, had more than what I expected and ended up with what I needed. It was a chilling shock. Was I prepared? In theory, yes. When it came to being in the moment, there was no time to have a plan or to analyse what was going on, I could only do, on instinct, what I thought was right. That's the difference. Well, one of the differences. Seeking after things you want, are forced by initiating: the steps, the environment and working in favour of your most desired outcome. Obtaining things you need, just happens. At the time, it seems crazy, you feel as though you're unqualified to be in the position, and the risk is tempting you to just give up. When it happens though, and you have a moment to look reflect on it, it happened at the perfect time.

I didn't quite understand why good things were hard to come by. Then I thought, perhaps good things aren't hard to come by, but the recipient is hard to find in a tangle of unfortunate events. We all go through things, that would have been better, had we read that in a sad novel somewhere. Or in a Netflix series where we can ‘aww’ and ‘boo’ and the protagonists in our own lives, but unfortunately that can’t happen. For some, our memories play like a looped trailer, teasing us to go back to a certain series in our lives that for the sake of our sanity, was a pain in the butt or a blissful time that seems out of reach the more we look at our present.

It’s easier said than done to ‘get over the terrible past’ and just look ahead and ‘live in the moment’. I think time is fluid: the past, present and future exist as one, we just have to choose what point in time is worth living, now.

The things that are meant for you are yours - reserved for when you deem yourself ready by being patient and trusting the process. It’s also important that you don’t always have to be ready, you can be learning and growing towards the things life is to reward you with. If you have to keep proving and lecturing the stars that you are ready, then perhaps add ‘sales assistant’ to your skills section in your CV. No matter how hard you try, no one will buy from an eager seller.

This isn’t to make you lose hope, but to help you think about where your present is: the past, the future, or this moment right now. Don’t rush to leave this moment behind, every moment in time counts. Tomorrow will come, the past may visit, but the present is here as long as you acknowledge it.