It's Time To Tell Your Insecurities, 'It's Above Me Now'

Ew! Insecurities, those pesky enemies of progress.

We all have them. We all hate them. For some, there's nothing we can do. I've talked about gaining confidence and how we shouldn't care about what others think. What about what we think? Our conscious minds are with us every step of the way, 24 fricking hours, 7 days of the God-given week. How about that! A troll you can't even block.

We as humans love to pick out insecurities and compare them with superior traits found in something else. Think about it, we don't see our physical insecurities until we start to compare them with something we feel is superior to it. We fear being not good enough. The one way we seem to be able to deal with it is to put it above all our strengths. Well. It is time. It's time to tell your insecurities it's above me now.

The Logic

Someone said something. Others mindlessly agreed. We now have a trend. Society feeds of trends, and the cost of that is our mental wellbeing. You may have a child one day, who is just discovering the world or be of influence of someone younger or someone vulnerable. It is up to us to teach them how to love themselves regardless of what society says. If we do not teach them to love the image they see in the mirror or the person they are, they will project themselves on things trying to find that love:

• Unhealthy relationships in order to feel some sort of validation.

• Drugs & alcohol in order to find some form of peace of mind.

• Meaningless sex to feel some sort of intimate love of oneself,

• Lacking an identity as to who they are, by associating themselves with validation, from the wrong type of people.

Perhaps you need to teach yourself how to love yourself too.

Physical insecurities

One thing about the design of human beings is that we're all the same, yet different.

Differences are what makes us special. Even identical twins have physical differences. If you have a significant other, or someone quite close to you, go ask them, 'what's your favourite feature about me', go ahead and ask yourself too while you're at it. What we sometimes think are insecurities and flaws, someone you love perhaps won't even notice or won't even care that it's a flaw. They just love you for all the other amazing traits you have. Do you really think your flaw or insecurities will pay your bills, care for others, or help you through life? No, not really, it's all your strengths.

Society runs on taking insecurities, turning them into problems that they coincidentally managed to fix. That's where our personal preference interfere with our view of society. Being thick or slightly curvy was not something a lot of women would strive for a few years ago, because society said it wasn't cute. Now many follow just to be idolized by men not even worthy of them. The height of men also got their own peddle stool. Being six-foot-plus is now the standard. There are too many things society tries to do to try and make us question our self-worth. Society doesn't have to just be a general term for the place you live, but it can be the people you involve in your life. But anywaaays...I digress, we ain't ready for that conversation yet.

I too struggled with my own physical insecurities. Let's just say it seemed like I got the lite version of puberty. I learnt to love my body just the way it was. I found that if you find the right things, you can accentuate and compliment the lovely features you have. When you start caring for yourself and really put yourself together, you look good. Not perfect, but just good. Perhaps its not your body image, but one feature, some odd 'imperfection' that seems to stain the projection of yourself. If you can look good for yourself, it really doesn't matter who you think you have to try and please. That goes for everyone. Start looking good for yourself and stop worrying about how you'll look for other people. As long as you are healthy, and striving for nothing but healthy growth - that's when you look your best. The need to change because of someone else's selfish desires doesn't need to be any of your concern. Chile, God did not give you edges to be losing them like a clown. Look at you, receding your hairline, for someone that doesn't give you peace.

Emotional, Social & Psychological insecurities

There's always going to be something we wished we weren't and wished we had. From the level of intelligence, mental ability to do something, mental health, how we grew up, what materialistic things we don't have, where we are in life, what we're doing with our lives compared to others, that seem to be doing more... the list goes on. Everyone has these too.

I think everything can be learnt and unlearnt if there is patience and commitment. Your mindset can change if you train it to filter unnecessary toxic thoughts and thinking habits which is why learning to journal is important. Everyone's 4 O'clock doesn't come at the same time. I'm a believer of destiny. I believe we all have a path we take in life. We all have something special that is going to be the thing that people remember us for. This is why it is so important to try and be true to yourself. You have something special to give. Don't shy away from your greatness, even if it means there is a difficult road ahead. Root for yourself. Don't forget that!

How to root for yourself

Insecurities is such a difficult topic to talk about. Many will go to the extremes of changing themselves to seem content with who they are. Perhaps some don't strive to change but don't do anything at all and lose themselves. You start to feel self-doubt, lack of confidence, depression, anxiety and hopelessness.

If you keep looking at all your flaws as something to be ashamed off, you will never be happy with who you are made to be. You will never truly love all of you, and how are others supposed to love you too? The moment you give your 'insecurities' the upper hand, you make it the highest bid of what people perceive of you, and unfortunately, treat you.

Keeping focus on your flaws will not get rid of them.

Waiting for someone to accept you the way you are, isn't going to make you love yourself any more. In fact, putting your fragile heart into the wrong hands will lead you to more destruction than you'd ever imagine. No earthly thing nor man-made thing is going to satisfy the hunger of your broken soul. The more you hate and feel ashamed of all the 'wrong' things you find in yourself, the more you deprive all your great qualities.

No amount of convincing from me, or anyone else is going to change the way you think about yourself. If you do not learn to love everything about yourself, you are going to be stuck with a faulty mindset that will jeopardise your way of living.

I have no right to say what you can or cannot do, but before you try to conform to a standard of an ever-changing society, created by selfish and unwanted opinions, learn to love the way you are first.

If you can evaluate yourself and say 'you know what, I'm not perfect, there are things I can work on, but there's a whole a lot I'm better at.' then you're halfway there.

It will take a lot of inner work. Sure there are some things you can work on, it may take some time, but you have to realise that your strengths will outweigh your weaknesses. Remind yourself of how amazing you are by doing good things for yourself, trying to be physically & spiritually healthy.

To Recap:

• Differences are what makes us special

• What we sometimes think are insecurities and flaws, someone you love perhaps won't even notice or won't even care that it's a flaw

• Start looking good for yourself and stop worrying about how you'll look for other people

• The need to change because of someone else's selfish desires doesn't need to be any of your concern

• Don't shy away from your greatness, even if it means there is a difficult road ahead

• Root for yourself

• If you keep looking at all your flaws as something to be ashamed off, you will never be happy with who you are made to be

• The moment you give your 'insecurities' the upper hand, you make it the highest bid of what people perceive of and treat you

• Keeping focus on your flaws will not get rid of them

• Waiting for someone to accept you the way you are, isn't going to make you love yourself any more

• No earthly thing nor man-made thing is going to satisfy the hunger of your broken soul

• Learn to love yourself more

And if that doesn't work, well then, it's above me now.

All jokes aside, we will all have moments where our insecurities get the better of us. Just don't allow it to be something that controls you. Confidence (not arrogance) is more attractive than you know.